True Torture

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Larathain's avatar
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You think you know what torture is...?

You are a hypocrite. You claim I didn't inform you of what I had endured or shared with you what has happened to me, but I did, a brief version of it, as you offered me, and yet you refused to read my message at all. I read yours, and all you have endured is paltry and negligible when you measure that what I offered you, what I've sacrificed for you, considering your situational circumstances, how you treat me, continue to treat me, and have treated me. If you had taken the time to read my message, you would have known that I was, indeed, tortured, and that you are the worst sort of human being that exists or has ever drawn breath for even claiming I cause negativity, of any sort or regard, for anyone whom has experienced torture by saying that I have been abused so, that I have endured its egressing emotional stability, and that I have not lost that same feeling of safety and solace of mind, heart, and soul someone endures after being tortured in a severe manner. (from your implication that I don't know what it feels like to be tortured, does that last part about the aftermath sum it up? If you have EVER experienced what torture is or feels like, you would know the sentiment I just described) I have been stabbed (multiple times), shot (multiple times), cheated on (multiple times), physically tortured in the form of lost body parts, quality of life, and time of life alive, all stolen by someone (one person Ashley Silao) who lied to me continuously (which is another form of psychological torture when you consider the specifics such as keeping me believing she wanted what was best for me, actually cared about me at all, and wanted me to be happy) I have been emotionally tortured and abused constantly in the regard that she told me repetitively that she wanted me to be close to her, to speak with her daily, see her daily, and when I tried to do so, she pushed me away. She claimed to me that she wanted to spend forever with me. With me and only me. Nobody else. I explained to her that I accepted her offer but then, she pushed me away, and still does, all the while, at every attempt I make to move on, to find someone who will love me as she claimed to, as I deserve, because I deserve love as profound as I offered her (and would offer someone I was with), the sort of love she claimed to want nothing more than, she interferes in any and every way she can to hinder me from being happy and discovering that solace and peace. Causing me to be alone because she is ungrateful, irrational, selfish, stupid, pretentious, inconsiderate, disrespectful, inattentive to the needs and desires of others, and possesses a delusional disregard for the pleasant, positive, and special sacrifices those whom love her make on her behalf, for her benefit, for her prosperity, and positive personal health status in every regard. (physical health, emotional health, intellectual health, and psychological health) She stole my parents and friends from me by filling their minds with lies. Has isolated me. Do you know what it is like to be forced into a situation where you can't trust anyone? Where you can't share with them everything that has happened to you, how you feel, what you felt, and why? To not be able to trust anyone with what has happened to you? To be betrayed by every person you meet because she has met them first and forces them to get close to you only to hurt you more when they drop your life into the garbage waste-fill, neglecting any sort of responsibility they had by offering you any sort of companionship or trust. Do you know how psychologically damaging that is? How that can affect the mind of someone? To open up to people only to discover that they are pretenders? That they never cared about you at all? That they were forced to? You feel parts of you are stolen away. An intimacy that cannot be replaced becomes a mockery and wound inside of you that festers and grows. Your mind spins. You...you have no idea what torture is. What I've just shared with you is psychological torture and abuse. Emotional torture and abuse. Do you still believe you know what torture is? Because I do. I haven't even begun to completely share with you EVERY facet of what I've endured. You haven't even received 50%. Do you still think I don't know what torture is?
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